Chock full of Nuts

Chock full of nuts. The internet if full of them. The digital and social media world have become the stomping ground of the uninformed, the shockingly ignorant, the willfully stupid, and the self proclaimed expert. Anyone with a coffee shop internet connection is able to vomit garbage for mass consumption by a population too lazy to discern for themselves if there is any congruency in what is being proffered. Truly, I have not the slightest idea on why people believe the bile that is floated about like it’s the second coming. “Believe and be saved my brothers and sisters – it was on the internet”.

Here are a few of my favorites:

1) Evil food corporations are putting paint thinner in our cereal.

2) Intermittent fasting is good for you, a great way to loose weight, and keep weight off.

3) We need to do “cleanses” to rid ourselves of the toxins that are ravaging our bodies.

4) Advocare, and other similar products sold in pyramid schemes, will get you in shape.

5) Chalk is a magic powder that makes you stronger.

I’m sure each of us had at least 1 facebook “friend” that found the need to enlighten the ignorant as to the dangers of corporate food giants and capitalism in general, the vast superiority of diets and nutrition paradigms from other parts of the world, and how easy it is to lose weight using “Product X”.

Myth No 1.

Countless smarmy morons, desperate to find a short cut to releavance rather than traveling the time-tested path of experience and education, decided to make the claim that corporations were putting paint thinner and degreaser in our foods. The evil substance to which they refer is trisodium phosphate.

I’m not sure which is more appalling, the number of jack wagons that made this claim, or the callow commentators that bleated in agreement.

  • Trisodium phosphate (TSP) is used to buffer against the acidic nature of dough that is going to be baked.

  • Between the baking process and the digestive process the TSP that was present is chemically altered. The TSP becomes just a bunch of sodium and phosphate ions, both of which the body needs in spades to function.

  • If you are worried about trisodium phosphate, then you should also concern yourself with sodium chloride. Sodium and chloride are both deadly, that is until you mix them together creating the compound sodium chloride, or table salt. Organic chemistry is a wonderful thing.

Myth No 2.

I can think of scant few less intelligent things to do than denying your body the calories it needs by fasting. Show me a guy or a girl that practices fasting and I will show you a frail, weak human being with a metabolism of a hibernating groundhog.

  • When calories are cut, the body starts using fat stores as a fuel source. When the body senses rapid fat loss, it begins to lower thyroid levels and reduce nervous system output in an effort to stop the weight loss.

  • If one cuts calories further and continues to place demands on the body, the body takes more drastic measures to staunch the loss of weight. It starts to reduce testosterone production while increasing cortisol levels leading to muscle loss.

  • Our bodies do all of this simply as a survival mechanism. When the body starts to starve it does all sorts of funky things to maximize its chance of survival. It adapts. Why would anyone deliberately cause their metabolism to slow down? That’s insane.

But there is more.

  • Athletes must eat to perform. If an athlete is fasting that means they are not performing well. Nor will they recover well. Nor will they gain muscle. The next workout will be even worse. The cycle of failure continues and things get uglier.

  • Muscle needs calories to exist. In the simplest of terms, we actually consume calories just to have muscle. (Another reason weightlifting is awesome.)

  • Most people binge when they come off their fast. Stuffing the hole in one’s face with ridiculous amounts of food is no better than starving one’s self. Excess calories get stored as fat.

Myth No 3.

I’m blown away by this one. I just cant fathom why anyone would ever convince themselves that they need to drink something a snake oil salesmen sold them in order to get rid themselves of supposed toxins that are building up in ones body.

  • The good Lord knew what he was doing. He built us to cleanse ourselves 2 to 3 times a day. Voiding the bladder and moving the bowels rids the body of everything it’s supposed to.

  • Do you know who does cleanses. Yogi’s? They love them. Bring me a yogi that can kick my ass and I will do a cleanse. Enough said.

Myth No 4.

I don’t know which is more offensive, the notion that pyramid schemes like these are alive and well, or that there are so many “nutition experts” still hawking this garbage to those desperate to loose weight and too ignorant to know how. The whole world of supplements is shady. The only reason to take a supplement is if you are not getting enough of the substance in the real food that you are currently eating.

  • If you are going to rely on a supplement, then you have to ensure it is of the same quality you would find in your food real source.

  • Look at the ingredient list on an Advocare product like Spark, or Advobar, for example. There are four big problems, soy protein, sucralose, sunflower seed oil, and synthetic vitamins, plus countless other highly processed ingredients.

  • Soy, particularly the genetically modified, non organic stuff used in Advocare, does the body no good. The ill-effects of soy could fill an entire blog post.

  • Sucralose is an artificial sweetener. Is there any reason to speak further to that point?

  • Sunflower seed oil is a highly processed oil that is high in omega-6 fatty acids. Omega-6 fatty acids cause inflammation that is linked to heart disease. We need omega-3’s, which can only be found in veggies such as mustard greens, romaine lettuce, cauliflower, and brussels sprouts, meat sources like grass fed beef, salmon and sardines, and wild game.

  • Synthetic vitamins typically lack the transporters that the natural vitamins do. Therefore the body is not able to process them the same way or even absorb them at all. So what the hell is the point of using advocare? Its like drinking sewer water and the only one who benefits is the shill that has the most underlings pimping for him out of their gyms.

Myth No. 5

OK, so I have never actually seen anyone make this claim on the internet. That being said every time I watch an athlete perch over the chalk bucket dipping their sweat soaked hands deep down in there endeavoring to create a thick poultice of magnesium carbonate and body fluids so that they can paint themselves from finger tip to elbow, I cant help but wonder if that’s what people are thinking.

  • Chalk can serve as both a friction reducer when doing dynamic movements on a pull up bar or set of rings, and a means by which you can secure your grip when lifting heavy weights.

  • Chalk does not absorb the amount of sweat that is on your hands when you decide to chalk up again. Chalk only helps hands that are dry. Chalk applied to wet, sweaty hands makes a nice chalk paste.

  • If an athlete is having a hard time hanging on to a piece of equipment, it is probably because the athlete is lacking hand strength, or is fatigued.

  • A towel is a more effective method of drying hands, if sweat is an issue.

  • Chalk is helpful when used for the right purpose.

  • You can thank Jenny for chalk sticking around. We all know who the boss is anyway.

Do you know what you can believe in? The three pillars of fitness: Consistency, Intensity, and Nutrition. The kind of stuff we do in here everyday. There are no shortcuts. There are no quick fixes. There is only pain, and toil, and effort, and discipline, and determination, and perseverance, and pushing, and pulling, and fighting for every last rep, and fueling the body the right way with real, unprocessed food. And chalk, Jenny says chalk helps.

Thank you for choosing to train with us. Looking forward to seeing you all in the gym.


Semper Fi,

Coach Robby

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